If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
