C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
