as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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