it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
