Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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