My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
