just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
COCAINE IS GR8
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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