i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
