forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
