I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
