So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
