i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he high fived his dick after we had sex
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
