FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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