Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
