just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
