I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
