I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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