After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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