AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
