Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
