fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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