i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize