yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
