So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
