I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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