Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
