I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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