We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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