I wish I could teleport
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I need water and some morals
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
