miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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