i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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