Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
