I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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