Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
