She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
