I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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