can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
