Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
