I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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