I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
