I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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