Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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