I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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