When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
