2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So squirting runs in the family.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
