So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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