I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
