Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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