Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
