So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
