Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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