Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
