I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
