Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
