I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Two words: blizzard sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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