He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This is my gift to your gina
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
