U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
