ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
